Moment of Clarity (beccajuice) wrote,
Moment of Clarity

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in other news.the ghetto kids stole my rear windshield wiper. why? they dont drive y they need it?

It has been a looooooooooooong ass time hasn't it? Yes. I have tried to update but everytime i get to this page, i don't feel like it anymore. But i'm going to say something today cuz there's something that's bothering me. It has to do with where i work. Now, i was promoted to a manager position about 4 or 5 weeks ago. i really like it. i'm doing a lot more work. there's more responsibility and it not only makes the day go by faster, it also gives me a feeling of importance. people have given me more respect and chances to prove what i can handle. However, there are of course rumors going usual. this place is THE most dramatic place i have EVER been to. i still feel like i am kind of neutral because i still hear stuff from everyone.

hmmm i forgot what i wanted to say...lemme start by explaining that there were 2 people being trained for the 2 open management positions: michael and laura. Denise surprised everyone by promoting michael and I one day. when susanna got back from vacation she got in trouble with denise cuz of something that happened the week before susanna went on vacation (this week that the incident happened denise was on vacation and michael told her what happened). so susanna was fired. laura quit cuz she was upset that she didnt get to become a manager after she went through some of the training. but i know laura quit also cuz she was completely loyal to susanna. they were best friends. and denise wanted to get rid of her anyway cuz laura has NO loyalty to denise (she's the district manager by the way). before laura quit she congratulated me for getting the position and told me that i deserve it and that michael doesnt. she never talked to him after this happened. but then when susanna and laura were gone, they talked to denise and told her that they both think that it was fair to promote michael but not me. THIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT THEY TOLD ME. laura acted all like my friend and told me that i can call anytime and yesterday when she came to pick up her check she hugged me and said that she misses me. i fucking hate that. i wanted to say something to her but i thought that it wont do any good.

now today i talked to michael and he told me that the other manager kim...who i trust and i like...he told me that kim told denise that she doesn't think that michael and i will work out. that pisses me off BIG TIME cuz why the hell wont we work out bitch!!! the district manager is training us to do things the right way. kim does a lot of things wrong and she's in deep shit with denise recently for things...all of which i know how to do the right way cuz i was taught and i am learning from her mistakes. i think i could do a much better job than her. i am not lazy, i do things when they should be done, i take responsibility for what i need to do...not put it on other people so i can relax and do nothing but chill. now, i realize that ...yes michael could be making up shit. but i dont care. i am taking everything i am hearing from everyone and forming my own option on stuff. denise told me today that kim is trying to use me. denise said that i deserve to go home early cuz i've been working so hard and kim just wants me to stay there and do the things that she is supposed to be doing.

overall...i dont care what they say. i dont trust anyone...except for some odd reason i trust denise and michael. they could be playin me too. but i dont care. all that matters is that denise saw potential in me and i don't want to disappoint her. i believe that i have done a very good job so far. i mean...michael and laura were being trained since the beginning of the summer to become managers...and i learned in 2 or 3 weeks. i got a crash course and tomorrow morning i am opening all by myself. i'm excited about it.

it just pisses me off that i have to hear how people talk behind my back. denise told me that kim is trying to blame this person's missing bag on me cuz i was the one who cleaned and MUST have saw it cuz who else would have moved it. well it wasn't fucking there and why the hell would i throw it away??? i'm not stoopid enough to do that when it has stuff in it. would look through it and see if there's anything good. lol nah i wouldnt do that either...but damn sometimes i think they think i'm dum. i realize that kim tries to use me, that what i am told by everyone could not be the truth. i'm tired of it though. i'm looking forward to the meeting we're going to have next week when denise gets back from north carolina. i'm going to say some stuff cuz i'm just tired of keeping it in. and i want to tell them that no...i don't always do what they tell me to do. they think that i do some things cuz kim tells me to...but they dont notice that recently all i do is say 'yeah ok' to their requests. i do what i want. i know what has to be done. i'm not gonna just stand there and watch over something cuz they tell me to. i'll wonder and go and do what i think i need to do. ... lol which is why kim yells at me sometimes like 'i told you to go over there so michael has to do this' lol i just told her why? i can do more than one thing at once. i can get stuff done faster than most of them anyways. why does it matter who does what as long as it gets done.

hmmm i dunno i'm just tired of everything being all secretive-like. i want things out in the open so i can fucking talk about it...instead of worrying that i might say too much to a person because i dont want it to get out. just let everything out fuckers.
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